For some reason I am extra emotional today. Maybe it's because I feel stuck or maybe it's because I can't understand why it's so hard to get where you want to go. Whatever the reason is, I have to stick it out for all of us. I can't preach about never giving up if I do so myself.
Being back where you hate the most is so discomforting and embarrassing. Hearing the things you thought you escaped is sickening, at best. Hang in there. It'll pass. I just don't know how long, but it will pass and you'll feel comfort again...but only to feel discomfort once more. It's a vicious cycle that none of us understand but no matter how successful we become, it's something we will always have to endure.
I look forward to something better. I look forward to my season of trying times to be over but I know that only means I will have to prepare for another season of trials. It's exhausting and discouraging but it's life. We were meant to spend our lives jumping waves...one after another. These moments teach us to appreciate when the tides are low.
They told me I couldn't do it and they told me it as much too big of a risk. From where I am right now, it looks like they were right and I know they are snarling with satisfaction even if they want me to be happy deep down. They're not right. They never are. Doubters doubt and when you hit a brick wall, they come to your rescue only to give you more doubt. Keep hitting the wall until it breaks...until it collapses. They'll still doubt but remember you broke the wall. It'll be worth it.
Sorry for the rambling but this is therapy for me and for a lot of others. Basically, I just wanted to let myself know, along with the rest of you, we're not stuck. We're at a stand still but something will give. We're better than what they expect from us. The universe knows it...we just have to remind ourselves what we're fighting for. We're going to be alright.
-S. Elle Cameron
Founder of Jumping Waves